Friday, February 7, 2014

My LGBT post

I wanted to make a post specifically on my views of the LGBT community, and show my support.

I am writing this for anyone who wants to read it. If you come across this feel free to comment. I warn you now: IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT IS WRITTEN IN THE COMMENTS THAT I VIEW AS UNNECESSARY, HURTFUL OR OTHERWISE TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY, I WILL DELETE THE COMMENT(S).  I protect the rights of the people who are a member of the LGBT community and will defend them with my life.  I, myself, am a straight man.  Although, I'm sure some of you are asking why do I feel I should express that, would I be ashamed if I was gay? No, I want to clarify that these views and opinions are from someone outside of the community.

There is an old song by an indie rock/progressive rock group called Depeche Mode called "People are People" which expresses my views very well.

"People are people,
so why should it be,
that you and I
should get along so awfully?"

I support the right of expression, the right to be a human being, the right to love whomever you choose.  I feel saddened when I see on the news that kids and even adults are committing suicide due to their sexual orientation.  They're being bullied, they're being harassed, some are being disowned by their parents, by their family, their friends.  It sickens me, I wondered why people would do that to one another.  I had gotten into an argument with my ex-wife over a topic I had asked her.  I knew she had one gay friend.  I asked her how she would react if our son was gay.  She immediately said, I couldn't deal with it.  I flew off the handle.  He is our son, if he was born, loving men, how does that change the fact that he is my son? I feel that way when I hear of kids, teens, adults being abandoned by their loved ones.  Just because they decided to come out of the closet.  Called sinners.

I had recently asked my teenage daughter, if we could talk about a subject that was close to my heart.  I asked her how she felt about gay/lesbian marriage?  She shrugged her shoulders and said "It's fine by me." I smiled.  I asked her how she felt about gay/lesbian couples adopting babies or kids? Again, she shrugged her shoulders but replied, "Who am I to deny them their happiness?" I have to say I became extremely proud of her.  I have felt the same way, my whole life. I have friends who are gay, I am proud to call them my brothers, I have friends who are lesbians, again, I am proud to call them my sisters, I have friends who are bi-sexual (by their definitions) I am proud to call them members of my family.  I also have friends who are Transgender, I will always be PROUD to call them ALL a member of my family.

I won't lie and say I'm not curious.  I have a few questions for the LGBT community.  I have been tempted to ask my friends these questions but I can't bring myself to do so.  I fear it is disrespectful and view it as I would a racist joke.  "If I can't say a particular black joke around a black friend/family member, maybe I shouldn't say it at all."   I feel that if I can't ask a straight person the same question without violating their right to privacy, without feeling like I'm exploiting their sexual orientation, why should it be okay to do so to my friends in the LGBT community?

To those of you who are still discovering yourselves.  I offer this one thought and one advice to you.  I want you to know that out there, somewhere is someone who will fight for you. Someone who will die for you.  Someone who will listen to you, talk to you, give you a shoulder to lean on. If you need someone to talk to, to get you through your tough times, I will personally research the local LGBT community for you and help you get the information you need.  If you're being bullied, don't let them get to you.  It's hard, I know. but, it willl  be better.

I'm hoping that one day I will have a post that will have phone numbers, websites, emails and such for people who need information about bullying, LGBT, and more.

The Wicked Wiccan Signing out

So, you're different?

I want to stress so much that depression hurts.  I have experienced it so much over the course of my lifetime.  I have advice to all of you going through this tragic times.  It will be okay.  It doesn't seem like it now, but, it's true.  I don't want anyone to read this and think, he doesn't know.  He doesn't realize.  I also don't want you to take this the wrong way as a promise that within the next couple of days after reading this, you'll be on top of the world... It could happen.  But, depression is not something that comes and goes in a matter of minutes.

I am posting this because I feel it will help at least one person.  In my 30 years of existence, I've suffered through different forms of depression for at least half of it.  It started after my cousin Trish, 21, passed.  A year later, her father died as well. These two sweet souls deserved happiness and I wish I had realized that.  But I was about 10 when it happened.  I couldn't understand the full extent of death or anything like it.  Afterwards, I became depressed even more, due to being bullied in school and outside of school. It became so dark and twisted for me, that I started physically harming myself to numb my emotional pain.  I would cut my arms, my chest, and my legs.  Once that pain started to numb, I moved up to sticking needles and pins in myself.  I would pierce my ears and fingers using unsanitary items.  I would hang a spiral notebook, using one of the spiral rings, from my earlobe. I would drag my knuckles across the hallway walls (which was made from a very course brick).  I would punch walls, doors, floors and more.

Why? Because I was called a "dirty, dirty" I was verbally and emotionally abused by classmates, singled out and emotionally abused by teachers and other faculty members.  It became so bad, I decided I didn't need school. I didn't need to live anymore.  Few people saw my intelligence, my "blessed" side. They were true friends.  I fought a lot, I abused others physically, emotionally, mentally, verbally.  Why did they pick on me?  Why was I their target? To them, it was simple.  I liked metal, I smoked, I wore all black, I wore a trench coat (black), I painted my nails black, I had a mohawk.  I was different.  I'm not going to say it was just me being picked on. But it felt like it.  It was me against everyone.  After April 20, 1999, people saw me as a threat, even moreso than I started out as.  Rumors went around about the trench coat mafia's involvement in the Columbine shooting.  Me, a freshman, wearing a trench coat, meant I was going to do the same thing.  Later that year, they found a note in the ladies' bathroom talking about a bomb threat.  Your favorite blogger was prime suspect number ONE.  I was suspended until further investigation showed that I was completely innocent.  It had been someone else, a few grades higher than I. Nevertheless, they reinstated me into the school and never apologized... I'm sure they thought, if he didn't do it this time, he'll do it later.  The next year, a list of people "to be shot" was found.  After their last screw-up, I was number 3 on this list.  They said they were going to install metal detectors, hire security guards, et cetera.  That way they weren't falsely accusing someone.

My freshman year, I had decided that No teacher would control me.  I got into many shouting matches, had been suspended several times.  Defy Authority... my slogan... I remember distinctly one argument.  I will include everything I remember in a transcript below. By the way, I will change the name of the teacher.  I will call this short, obese man Mr. Farnsworth (I've seen one too many Futurama episodes) (there is swearing involved, by the way.

Mr. Farnsworth: Hey! (runs towards me from behind down the hall)
Me: WHAT!?
Mr. Farnsworth: Where are you supposed to be?
Me: Here... There... Anywhere I want.
Mr Farnsworth: You need to take of your jacket.
Me: (points to my trench coat) This isn't a jacket, it's an expression of who I am, an article of clothing.
Mr. F.: Did you wear that outside?
Me: Yes.
Mr. F.: Then it is a jacket and is not allowed to be worn.  The school policy explains it.
Me: Then my pants are a jacket? How about my boxers? Or even my shirt? I wore those outside.  I can't wear them? I have to attend school naked?
Mr. F.: You know what I mean.  Just take off your jacket, put it in your locker and I'll stop bugging you.
Me: It's not a jacket.
Mr. F.: (obviously getting frustrated due to my lack of respect for him) ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID??? TAKE OFF YOUR JACKET!
Me: (being anti-authoritative) WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING STUPID, YOU FAT FUCK! I'M SURPRISED YOU MANAGED TO GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT OF BED! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE, YOU FAT TUB OF SHIT!
Mr. F.: DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!?
Me: SURE, THEY'RE PROBABLY EXPECTING ME ANYWAYS!
Mr. F. and I walked through the halls to the principal's office, quietly.  Both still fuming over what the other had said.  We reached the door, he turned and said "Sorry, I flew off the handle.  Look, could you please take off your jacket and I will walk away." (he truly was trying to be the good guy.
I simply said "nope, they already have a seat for me." and walked in.  I explained what happened to the receptionist, but for some reason I didn't tell her that he called me "Fucking stupid"... In hindsight, I guess that was my apology to him.

Why did I tell you that? I wanted to show you that the depression (which I'm not blaming) changed me.  It was me that showed disrespect.  It was the me that had came from almost a full year of self-mutilation, self-deprivation, self-inflicted hatred.

Depression takes many forms. I've been through a lot of them.  Drugs, alcohol, self-abuse, suicidal tendencies, you name it, I've probably done it.  If I haven't I know someone who has.

The point of this is... You need to realize.  Shit happens... It sucks, horribly.  But if you let it take over, you will do things you will be ashamed of, if not regret.  I regret nothing.  My philosophy is, if I regret yelling at Mr. F., I have to regret the beautiful daughter I have.  After that year her mother and I dated. She wanted a "rebel" as a boyfriend.  We became intimate and she was pregnant.  I became a father at 16.  I love her to death and I wouldn't trade anything for her.  I, eventually learned to cope with my depression, use it, manipulate it. It still haunts me once-in-a-while.  It'll creep up and paralyze me for a day or so.  I don't take medication.  I've learned what to do when it peeks around the corner.

My methods will be different... why? because I'm different.

Back to what I started with.  If you think that for one second someone doesn't love you, someone doesn't care about you.  I guarantee you're wrong.  It might seem that way, but someone is paying attention to you.  Someone is looking up to you, if you truly feel that there isn't, I promise you there is.  A sibling, a cousin, a bully (yes, they might treat you like shit, but mostly because they're jealous.  Jealous that they can't be as "carefree" as you, they have an image to uphold, in which they base their whole life.  If they fail that, then they fear that they will lose who they are). If you just look in the mirror, smile for 30 seconds (force yourself if you have to), say one good thing every time you feel down. You'll almost always start to feel better.  I tell people all the time. "Normal people" scare the hell out of me.  They're all wearing masks.  It's the ones who are clearly different, abnormal that I embrace.  They're not afraid to show who they are.  They don't wear masks.

If you stumbled upon this because you're feeling down, I hope this helped.  If you're feeling so bad that you wish to end it, there are helplines.  Feel free to send me an email telling me what's wrong.  I will do my best to help.  If I don't reply right away, it is not because I'm ignoring you, It's not because I don't care. It's not because I'm bothered or annoyed.  I will reply as soon as I can.




Thursday, February 6, 2014

Disturbing thoughts of Christianity

I sit here days on end, wondering when people as a whole can be held responsible for the actions we perform.  I see on the news or on blogs or such that a religious group protests a soldier's funeral.  I've seen disturbing things done in the name of God.  From things like peaceful protests to discrimination causing mental abuse.  Raising awareness of "sins" causing trauma in kids, teens and even adults.

We've seen them all over.  People holding signs saying hateful things such as "F*gs are sinners", "Burn in Hell F*gs", or even holding signs that have dismembered babies protesting abortion.  While my stance on abortion is not on trial, I feel it is the decision and responsibility of those who are doing it.  I am naturally against abortion, but I can't even begin to fathom what would drive someone to do it.  Maybe they were abused sexually by a family member, maybe they were raped? Maybe they know that the baby is better off dead than in their hands... Whatever their reason, it's theirs.  We have no right to say that they're wrong.  As for the LGBT community, I hope they know I am on their side 100%.  I believe love knows no sex, race, religion, or anything else.  Saying hat allowing gay marriage is equal to bestiality shows how low we sunk  and narrow-minded people are.  We live in a world where in the 1990s we allowed a man to marry himself. Who raised issue to that? The "Republican" Party did.  Who declares that being gay is wrong and should be banned? Mostly "Republicans."  I put the quotation marks around Republicans because in the last decade the thought process and the mindset of Republicans have changed.  I am a Republican in the old-style sense.  Focus on taxing people, for the people, by the people.  In the 20's they didn't focus on LGBTs.  They focused on what was important, in the sense that we were going down the drain, we needed to focus on our country's well-being, whether they were Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, or Transgender.  Each person (some states included African-Americans in this) needed to help recover our economy, not for our self-image, but for our citizens.

I say we go back to those times.  A hard, trying time where the senators and congress-people actually thought of us.  We need to focus on our country as much as possible.  Coming from a peace-loving religion, one that says "Share the wealth" I must say. We shouldn't share what we don't have.  We have kids in America who are homeless, we have kids who are starving, we have kids who don't know how to read or even have clean, running water.  Why focus on Ethiopia? I know, I'm horrible.  I say take care of us, first. Then, once we re-introduce ourselves as the country who cares about our citizens so much, then we can give aid to others.  I do also feel for those who live in Iraq, Afghanistan who need help living, those who live in oppression, who cannot express themselves as we can.  If they truly are hurting due to their lives in that country, we can send a plane and import them.  I'm not trying to say they are product, or services, themselves.  But then set up a system.  Why not increase the minimum wage so that people can live comfortably, those who become residents of America, legally, must pay taxes just like everyone else.  Those whom we help to transport them here, they pay an extra small tax to support our economy.  This is something I will discuss in a later post.

Back to the horrific Christians that decide to traumatize people.  Being homosexual, bi-sexual, transgender is not a sin.  In your belief, you must realize, that your God made them this way.  Not for you to judge, not for you to criticize, not for you to torture.  It is His way to teach that everyone is equal.  His way of showing love comes in all forms.  His way of showing you that it doesn't matter who you are, you need to be proud of who you are.

Did you know that the Christian religion is a peace-loving religion?  I certainly didn't.  I see proof for just the opposite going back to it's first believer.  Christianity has thrived so well because of the fear they instilled on the populace back in the day.  It's the monkeys, banana, water hose experiment all over again.  To give you a briefing of that. A group of scientists put a group of monkeys in a room (please forgive me for not knowing where this was done or misquoting it, I am giving the paraphrased version).  In the middle of the room, a ladder. Above the ladder a bunch of bananas hang.  If a monkey climbed the ladder, and came close to the bananas, they were sprayed with a fire hose.  Eventually, the monkeys realized they shouldn't do that.  If one tried, the others would pull him/her down for their safety.  Once they knew that the bananas were dangerous, they scientists took one out and replaced it with another.  The new monkey would attempt climbing the ladder and met with a group of monkeys pulling it down for it's safety.  Slowly they replaced all the monkeys, one-by-one.  Each one was pulled down from the ladder for its safety.  By the end of the experiment, none of the original monkeys were present, yet all of the monkeys in there wouldn't touch the ladder due to fearing for their safety.  This also happened in human history... If you did not repent your pagan beliefs, you were killed.  Your kids would see this and spread the fear for the Christians.  They were the monkeys pulling others down for their safety.  But this didn't sway the pagans who were willing to die for their beliefs.  The Christians saw this and elected a new form of persuasion.  They decided to mesh the religions.  They'd preach peace and meet with tribes, Celts, Germs, Franks, etc.  They'd sit and discuss religion and find out what they loved most about their religion and say "yep, we got that too!" Egyptians... You had a demi-god born from a virgin? Us too! He died to save humanity? Weird! Ours did too! He was ressurected 3 days later? Holy Moley! Ours too! Why not see what we have to offer? And that's when they got most of their cult recruits.  While this was going on, the crusades were still in existence. Muslims (who have the same old testament), Jews (who have the same old testament), and Christians (who have the same old testament) were at war, deciding who was right and who was wrong.  It still goes on.  You would never see two pagan circles going to war deciding who was right or wrong.  It was typically a feud that needed to be settled... Not about religion, but about debt, honour, love, territory, or other things.

Also in a later post, I hope to reach out to everyone who is homosexual, bi-sexual and/or transgender.  Just know that life is amazing, don't let anyone put you down. If they do, get back up, dust yourself off and say "Is that all you got?"

The Wicked Wiccan signing out

Aliens/UFOs = Demons???

So, I have been watching a lot of educational programming on YouTube lately.  I came across this video with annoying music in the background.  It was a text video explaining that this person had caught aliens and UFOs on video for 3 months.  S/he claims that the "grays" he/she captured on video were demons.  That this whole idea of aliens and UFOs was a hoax from the devil to make us believe in something other tan God existed.  I laughed hysterically when I saw that message.  Not because I am anti-Christianity (not to be confused with anti-Christian), but because this joker wants us to believe that we are the only planet with life on it... Not only that, but the only planet with Intelligent life on it.  Scientists have proven time and time again that there are hundreds of thousands of galaxies.  Many of them have a planet or several that could sustain life.  A small fraction of them have almost the same (if not the exact same) atmosphere we do to create Carbon-based life forms.  Who are we to say that what we see as a speck of Moon dust is not a living creature.  We have amoeba that is smaller than dust, yet it is a single-celled living specimen.

In any view of this blasphemy, it is a narrow-minded aspect.  In Christian terms, if God created the universe, why would he only create inhabitants for just one planet? Is he not strong enough to create more? Can the omnipotent only be able to handle one planet at a time? Doubtful.  My religious beliefs are not the basis of me knocking this poor fool's beliefs.  It's science kicking down his/her door and laughing in their face.  I believe a person is allowed to express their views and beliefs no matter what.  Feel free to knock my beliefs or codes, regulations, etc.  You have your right.

I just feel that it doesn't make sense.  Almost as much as those who try to persuade me that the concentration camps were a propaganda ploy to feel bad about the Jewish community.  I feel bad for tem already.  They are the butts, the basis of many jokes.  They have been enslaved and broken down more than just in the 1940s.  We found concentration camps in Germany, Poland, Czechoslovakia, Russia.  We even had a few in America! We called each set a different name.  Internment camps, Death camps, concentration camps, etc.  But the fact remains the same.  We as humans are horrible...   Sorry, I got off the point.  That can be a subject of yet another one of my rants.

But to claim that these aliens, these UFOs are demons.  I call bullsh*t.  As a member of different occult backgrounds, I must say.  They don't fit the description.  Not physically, I mean, demons can take any shape, any form.  But in the sense that they (if all the claims of abduction and probing is true) do to us as we would do to them. And I believe what we  have done to them.

All in all, my beliefs are, we need to educate these poor fools.  We need to show them that what we do as a society will come back to haunt us... If we see these beings playing in our yards, our woods. Learning, studying, we need to feed them the knowledge we can. Not cower, not play God.  For if we do, then what does that say about the human species? Are we as horrible as we make these things out to be? Aliens exist.  We might not have hardened evidence that is readily available.  We might not have scientific proof. We all know that unless there is studies and evidence to support it, we cannot believe everything we see online. Not on Google, Bing, Yahoo, or even YouTube.  Take all these with a grain of salt.

The Wicked Wiccan signing out.